有一種愛，叫做傷害

過於溺愛孩子對孩子真的好嗎？我們有句古話叫做：「慣子如殺子」。這句話是經歷千秋萬代所得到的真理，也許我們聽不到「慣子如殺子」的聲音，但是這種慘狀卻屢見不鮮。因此我們也都知道溺愛對孩子的壞處有多深。今天我們講一講溺愛對孩子的成長、學習、價值觀的確立、社會發展、孝敬父母方面等等，都構成了諸多的害處。

1、溺愛的孩子內心無愛

We all know our only child, from the day we were born, we haveattracted the eyes of the whole family. Because it's an only child,there are concerns about every aspect. If we're going to draw apicture, the arrows on the graph are all pointing to the child, andthat's the love of the adults around him, and he's surrounded bythis kind of doting all day. In this case, our children have nolove inside. What does that mean? That is to say, he accepts love,but does not know to give love, he accepts the love from all sideseveryday, cannot love other people. In general, he wants to reallylove others, first he wants to connect with others, then he canproduce love for others.

2、溺愛的孩子價值觀很混亂

調查發現，在溺愛環境下長大的孩子，大腦里常常裝著一些混亂的價值觀。所有的孩子最後要走向社會，如果孩子在溺愛的環境中長大，那麼他就接受不了正確的價值觀的熏陶，那他在走向社會之後就會發生一系列的問題，因為他在溺愛的環境中長大，隨心所欲。這種孩子在很多問題上如原則的問題、價值觀的問題全部處於混亂狀態，這就是溺愛的結果

3、溺愛的孩子能力底下

Our parents want their children to have the ability to learn andto excel. I also want my children to be confident and able to dothings in the sky. All parents think this way, but we dote on ourchildren, so that the results of education results in thechildren's low ability. Doting has degraded the child's ability todo all sorts of things.

4、溺愛的孩子厭倦學習

因為溺愛的孩子導致很多東西受到埋沒，這樣他們就發展不起來，一旦這種能力底下的孩子投入到學習中生活中去，他們就會遇到各種各樣的問題。這樣他們在學習上就會遇到諸多的障礙，也就是說在每個環節中他們都受挫，遇事孩子就會案卷學習甚至輟學。當我們觀察到孩子成績下降時，隨後緊跟著很多毛病都會陸續出現，因為他們的學習動力等都會受到家長的限制。所以厭學的孩子大部分在溺愛中長大。